Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Snicky du Jour: Gweneth Paltrow

So Vanity Fair is apparently coming out with a "devastating takedown" of Iron Man's secretary Pepper Potts, that alleges all kinds of mean things about this dippy Hollywood actress who started a website called "Goop.com".

Whatever. I don't care. All I know, is that facially speaking, Paltrow is like catnip for my eyes. I can't stop admiring her "look."

Oh, I know her limitations: weak front-court, no sense of humor.

And did I mention "dippy?"

I finally realized that the old cosmetic truth about facial symmetry as the key to perceived beauty was certainly her strong suit.

I mean, LOOK AT THOSE LEVEL PERFECTLY HORIZONTAL EYES! /insert Howard Cosell shouting voice! LOOK AT THOSE HIGH AND TIGHT CHEEKBONES! ABSOLUTELY MAGNIFICENT!

And a great smile. Of course.

So before poor ol' Goop Girl has to run out and try to singlehandedly purchase every copy of Vanity Fair and throw them in her mansion's incinerator, enjoy these photos.




7 comments:

  1. Are you f'ing kidding me! She is absolutely hideous! There is nothing attractive about this woman - looks, personality, body, mentality, politics. . . Nothing. I struggle to watch the Ironman movies. Love the movies but I cringe whenever she's in the scene.

    Most of the time I agree with your choices. Not this time. We are worlds apart on this one. I think you and Brian both need your eyes checked. Not sure what spell this hag has you under but it needs to be broken. In another 20 years she's going to look just like Pelosi. Gross. . .

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  2. "I mean, LOOK AT THOSE LEVEL PERFECTLY HORIZONTAL EYES!"

    And then you link pictures which clearly show her left eye is drooping below the right. You need your eyes checked Czabe

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  3. This commie wench along with her even more communist dope-smoking husband can just stay over in London where they belong. Her disparaging remarks about the United States through most of the Bush presidency, along with her elitist & condescending diva-tude make her one of the most detestable people on the planet. She used her first child to attract attention to herself by naming it after fruit… yeah, that kid has a chance in hell of ever being normal. Two communist whack-job elitist snob parents and a name like ‘Apple’ to go through life with. I don’t care what she looks like; she does not deserve an ounce of attention other to highlight what a horrible human being she is.

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  4. Does little for me looks wise and even less personality wise. Could be the worst snicky ever.

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  5. I think she is solid!
    Great looking face nice body, like any of you would kick her out of bed.
    I hat her guts though too.

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  6. Why do I forgive her many faults?

    Her dad bucked the network brass and created "The White Shadow." For this, much must be forgiven.

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  7. She's a beautiful woman and worthy of a run as Snicky. Just not my cup of tea. Kind of blah.

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