Thursday, January 26, 2012

"She Ain't Sacagawea..."

So I get the following email from a listener who DEARLY wants to go on our yearly excursion to Las Vegas for the Sweet 16 - CzabeVegas 2012 - but has a small problem.

He just knocked up his ol' lady.

Czabe,

Just trying to gauge how many of the guys at Czabe Vegas show up with their wifes/girlfriends/significant others? I'm trying to make it out this year but my wife and I just found out she's pregnant (been only about a month). So you see the obvious dilemma here...husband goes to Vegas and leaves the pregnant wife at home by herself. The only option I can potentially see is bringing her with me (Albuquerque to Vegas is a relatively short trip). Your thoughts based on previous years?

D.K.


Dude, she's not sacagawea. She's one MONTH pregnant!

But okay, so maybe you shouldn't print out and show your wife the wikipedia page on Lewis and Clark's hired (kidnapped?) native American tour guide (mistress?) who helped his group WALK from Missouri to Oregon ("Hey, it'll be FUN! Come on!") while both 9 months pregnant and then who HAD HER CHILD, and then carried the child WITH THEM as they walked to f***ing Oregon!

I'm sorry. I am yelling?

Here's the deal. In a word: YES, absolutely bring your wife/girlfriend/fiancee to the event. Vegas is a big fun city, with lots of mature things to do, shows to see, and really nice romantic restaurants.

If your girl hates sports/basketball then just have her do her own thing during the games, and then meet up with her afterward.

In fact, in the 3 years we've been doing this CzabeVegas thing, I have had NUMEROUS married couples come out together, and have a blast. One couple - believe it or not, but I swear it's 100% true - actually RENEWED their vows at the legendary little Vegas chapel with the Elvis pastor.


Nice.

But yeah, the pregnancy thing is like a woman's possession of a nuclear bomb. You gotta negotiate much more GENTLY with them when they are "with child" , so to speak.

Some wives (and husbands) are more than happy release their spouse for a weekend. So to each their own. We don't discriminate. And no, for the record, there are no strippers in the VIP area for our group, and there's no sex in the champagne room.

6 comments:

  1. One Month? What does she do when you take a bathroom break? Call 911 and request a Amber Alert? Man up dude she is pregnant, not Stricken with a life ending disease.

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  2. dude if your that much of a panzy we should prolly just stay home anyway.

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  3. What does DK stand for anyway? Desiree Kardashian

    Grow a PAIR or STAY HOME!

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  4. First time parents crack me up. Take it from a pro. She'll be fine for the weekend.

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  5. Dude the best thing about pregnant wives is the built in designated driver factor. And at one month pregnant wont be sick of it and pissed constantly. Bring her!!!!

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  6. Last two lines of Czabes post just made me go limp. To think i almost ponied up for this sausage party....sheesh.

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