Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Give A Monkey A Blog and .....

Somebody once asked me: "What do you have against Peter King, anyway, Czabe?"

That's a fair question.

He's never wronged me personally, and as such, I have no personal animus against him. In fact, he's supposedly one of the nicest sports media "stars" in the business.

Yet my professional animus for King seethes like a white hot fire.

He sucks.

If you gave a chimp a laptop and a sideline pass, it would have a fighting chance to outreport King during a game.

But I'm not the only one who thinks this. The boys at Kissing Suzy Kolber produce perhaps the 2nd best read every week during football season (1st, has to be Gregg Easterbrook's TMQB column on's Page 2).

It is a scathing - but oddly, fair - dissertation of King's weekly MMQB column. When King isn't being an insufferable narcissist, he's quite often failing to grasp even the obvious things going on in the NFL.

But at the very least, you would hope King could be a minimally competent reporter. If nothing else, the man is easily the most connected national reporter in the NFL. A long tenure at SI, along with his role on NBC's FNIA show, means getting the facts, when needed, should be a chip shot.

Not so much.

One big story in the Jets-Bengals game was the sudden unavailability of punter Steve Weatherford due to "illness."

Did King nail it? Um, no.

From his column this week, with comment by KSK.

My dumb comments about Jets punter Steve Weatherford on Twitter. I apologized on Twitter, and I’ll do so here. I called out Weatherford for not taking the field Saturday — it was said during the game that he was “ill” — even as cameras showed him jogging on the sidelines at one point. What I didn’t know is that moments before the game he was found to have a racing heartbeat and irregular heartbeat, and Jet medics forbade him from playing. I was kneejerk and shouldn’t have been. I should have refrained from commenting until I knew more about what ailed Weatherford. I owe him one.

KSK: Someone’s getting a free meal at Capital Grille!

Fucking.... idiot.

The notion that kickers and punters are - generally - pussies, is well established. At the same time, however, they ARE professional athletes. They didn't end up in the NFL just because their parents drove them to practice every week.

They fought their ass off to get there. And they fight their ass off to stay there.

Because being a current kicker/punter in the NFL, is about 50 times as awesome as being just another ex-kicker/punter in the NFL.

The pay is a lot better too.

So the notion that a punter would voluntarily beg out of a playoff game with an upset tummy is ludicrous if you have any basic understanding of sports.

When I heard about it, my FIRST thought was: "Wow. That's weird. I wonder what the fuck is REALLY going on?"

King, with all his "reporting" skills, and myriad contacts and access, should have been able to get to the bottom of this, and REPORT the truth. Instead, he decided to twitter away like a dope on his cell phone.

Great work.

And the douchebaggery continues.


  1. Great observations, Czabe. I agree with you and let me just say that King is not the ONLY lack-luster, over-paid, over-dressed, goofball on the sidelines. We don't need people asking the obvious questions. We don't need people standing around with a microphone waiting for something to happen so they have something to do! What happened to the "down and dirty" NFL reporters? I'm just sayin'...

  2. I'm not a big King fan, but I do read MMQB every week, so I guess he has a job at SI because of people like me.

    He has many faults. He frequently writes stuff that is contradictory to other things he writes. He's a huge name dropper. Who cares if some star tweeted him about something stupid. He seems to have a crush on Belichick, Brady and particularly Favre. He writes way too much about coffee and annoying people who talk too loud on their cell phone. I have respect for those who serve overseas, but a football column is not the place to praise them. He's about the worst movie reviewer ever. Every time he tries to defend a position using mathematical logic, he shows he probably failed algebra in HS. In fact he should just avoid doing any kind of analysis since his conclusions typically don't make sense. He should just report the facts and leave the analysis to someone who actually has some skill at putting A and B together.

  3. I still think it's an actor playing the role of Peter King, and that Larry King is the one writing the columns.

    If there's a football equivalent to "I don't think there's a better actress on earth than Teri Garr" or "Green beans are great, am I right people?" it's Peter King.

  4. Peter King is a guy who has top-level access and still can't get it right. His insight sucks and is as vanilla as vanilla. Any semi-intelligent sports fan could do his job at least as well...

  5. I agree- his columns are 6 pages of CRAP online...that millions read and regard him as a genius...jesus I could write a column throwing a bunch of crap against the wall, and when one out of 50 things sticks, well good god I'm amazing!

    Surprised no comment on Kiffin this morning Czabe!

  6. He believes Derek Jeter is best baseball player of his adult life and Yogi Berra is the best baseball player alive. Of course, he claims to be the biggest Red Sox fan alive. I can't think of anything that sums of PK better than this. Other than being completely wrong in his analysis, he is a walking talking contradiction. The guy is like a car wreck; I can't stop reading his constant drivel.

    I can't quit you Peter King!

  7. Peter King thinks he can just BS about anything and everone will believe him because he's Peter King. He made a comment about the officiating of the end of the Packers/Cardinals game officiating as though he was some officiating Guru. Peter King doesn't know Crap about anything!

  8. Another reason King is a douchebag: he didn't cast a vote for Monk in HOF voting UNTIL Dave Elfin said to him that Art Monk is to the Redskins what Harry Carson is to the Giants. According to King, THIS is what changed his mind on Monk.

    If you're such a man-about-town in the NFL, as King is supposed to be, why would it take another sports writer to change your mind?

  9. Miss you Czabe! Listened to you for four years or whatnot. Listened to you over other shows at the same time because I liked yours best. ANYWAYS, I, like you, was certain that the punter wasn't sitting out because of flu/stomach, so I was mistified as well by "sickness"

  10. Sorry to be the one to say it, but I think the root of Czabe's loathing is jealousy. Everyone seems to think they can do as good a job as King does, but that sounds like whining to me. He is doing it, getting paid handsomely for doing so.

    As for the incident that Czabe reamed King, at least the dude apologized publicly for what he did. How many modern reporters/journalists/commentators would do that?

  11. Let me also add, that I think Fox screwed the pooch on letting Czabe go. I don't always agree with him but I appreciate his semi-outsider approach that doesn't require he kiss certain celebrity asses. Replacing him with Stephen A. Smith just boggles the mind. Czabe I hope you resurface nationally very soon.

  12. Darren: anyone can do as good a job as King does because he doesn't do any reporting. There's no hard news or breaking stories coming out of Peter King, just pithy text messages and cell phone calls.

    Jay Glazer he ain't

  13. Peter King , excuse me I just got off the phone with Barack Obama, is a douche bag
    Look it up in the dictionary and you'll see his picture.

  14. Heck I think even Mort gets more things right than Peter King.

  15. Please come back on the air. This is the type of conversations I need in the morning to get me going for the day! You've hit the nail on the head, again.

  16. JH: Its always easy to that someone else could do as good a job, but it doesn't usually work that way. I am not saying King doesn't have his faults, but as someone who does read the column every week, I have to say it does have enough value that I continue to do so. Czabe's rants against King go beyond rational logic. He refuses to acknowledge any good the guy does. Anytime something is so one sided, you should probably ask what is motivating that. I surmise that Czabe thinks he could do a better job and is pissed that its King and not him getting that level of exposure. Like or not, that's jealousy, perhaps not of his talent, but of his position.

    Czabe has his own appeal and I really hope we get to listen to him again soon.

  17. I guess I have a man crush on Czabe. I really miss his show. Hope he resurfaces soon. Maybe just have an internet broadcast?

    Stephen A Smith is a great radio host... if you're Malcom X.

    Go Colts!

  18. Please come back Czabe... I'm afraid I'll hurt myself if I have to listed to Stephen or M&M on my way to work. I may have to start listening to the XM Deportivo... please come back!

  19. Last week on your competitor King didn't know that Allen wasn't in Tampa when they won the Super Bowl

  20. I enjoy Czabe commenting on Peter King whether on-air or in his blog. The fact that Peter King can work into one paragraph seeing Dennis Erickson at an airport Starbucks while he's on his way to his daughter's softball game all the while proclaiming Kyle Orton as the next great QB is simply astonishing. Whoever evaluates talent for SI and NBC should canned.

  21. I enjoy Cazbe's refreshing views and I miss listening to him. I will never forgive foxsports for having to listen to the assclowns Mike and Mike

  22. Hilarious. Reading that on KSK weekly is one of the highlights of my week. Seriously, you would think the guy who claims to have so much inside info and access to the players would write something meaningful. I don't know any predictions he ends up getting right (Favre retiring last year). He doesn't contribute any more than Mort, Shefter, or Glazier do, but he acts like he should.

    Miss you and your team on the airwaves Czabe!