Friday, January 8, 2010

The Stubbornly Un-sympathetic "Stosh"

Philosophical question: “When is it acceptable to ‘whine’ in sports?”

In general, I think you are not allowed to whine about: the weather, the referees, the schedule, the fans, or the announcers.

But an injury, if significant enough, you bet.

So I am watching the game last night at Buffalo Wild Wings in Urbana, MD with some of my boyees: Rhodesie (aka “The Greaser”), J.P. and another friend of theirs who goes simply by “Stosh.”

Stosh was hilarious. Claims to be a huge Ravens fan, but is also a Redskins fan. Claims he was once a Patriots fan (when Steve Grogan played) but isn’t a fan now. Guy works for the Baltimore Orioles, but is a big hockey player.

Oh, and he’s a huge Ocho Cinco fan. Massive.

Stosh’s proudest Christmas gift, which he was wearing, was a t-shirt ordered from Ocho Cinco’s own website that said “Child Pleeeze…” on the front in orange, with “Ocho Cinco 85” on the back.

Stosh claims he’s “great for the game of football.”

Stosh is white.

I feel compelled to say that, because he smashes every preconceived stereotype of a fan you would ever expect.

So anyway, with Texas getting drilled 24-6 in the second half, with their true freshman back-up to Colt McCoy struggling to even get a ball airborne, Stosh says:

“Now, I don’t wanna hear Texas fans whining about losing their quarterback after this game….”

To quote Jimmy Football in the Bud Light commercials: “Whhhaaaaahhhhaaaaa???”

I said: “Stosh, the dude was their All-American stud. He’s won more games than any QB in Texas history. They were looking really strong before he went out. What the hell are you saying? Of course Texas fans can whine. That changed the entire game!”

Stosh, undeterred simply said: “That’s why you need depth on your team.”

“Depth!” I said. “How many All-American quarterbacks do they need to carry at one time? Three? Some guys are just irreplaceable.”

Stosh wasn’t giving it up. He says they should have let this kid play more in blowouts to get him ready.

“Stosh, I don’t know if you are aware of this, but this is THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP game! Alabama is ridiculously good! The kid was playing HIGH SCHOOL football about 10 months ago! I’m amazed he hasn’t pooped himself yet.”

Well, it was a good natured exchange, and I didn’t really change Stosh’s mind. Maybe he’s correct on some level. I just didn’t see it. While Texas fans can’t honestly claim they would have surely won that game with McCoy, they can at least enjoy a little “woe is me” about it.

That’s when about 5 minutes later I said: “Hey Stosh, what did you say about Pearl Harbor? ‘I don’t want to hear the US Navy whining about losing all their battleships and stuff. They should have had another Pearl Harbor somewhere nearby, like on Maui.”

Much laughter amongst the fellas. ‘Tis why it’s great to get out of the house, and enjoy some free flowing “manversation” – as I like to call it – every now and then.

“Spoken like a Ravens fan,” I said, “whose only Super Bowl is due entirely to the fact that Tony Siragusa FELL on Rich Gannon’s shoulder on the 3rd play of the game.”

The trash talking resumed. The true freshman almost pulled off a miracle, although it was sadly only AFTER Stosh had headed for the snowy roads home.

All hail Alabama, and that joyless prick Nick Saban. With our without McCoy, they are deserving Champs, and the program looks like a juggernaut running at full power.

Woe to the rest of the SEC and, of course, Auburn fans.

The Tide, oh, it is rollin’!


  1. I'd be interested to hear Stosh's take on Carson Palmer getting his knee knocked out in 05

    Bengals fan, smartass texter from the 818

  2. There is a world of negative Karma driving straight towards Joe Flacco at 100mph.

  3. FSR lands on your head, and they don't have a suitable back-up either. Dadgum, I forgot how much M&M sucked.

  4. Czabe:

    Stosh is right...Colt McCoy's back up is a true freshman? so next year, their plans was to have a true sophomore as their starting QB? Why not have a red-shirt sophomore waiting in the wings? Totally Mack Brown's fault for not having recruited a QB for four years.


  5. This is Stosh...Injuries are part of the game! I was even rooting for Texas. I just don't like to hear excuses when it comes to sports. Every team goes through injuries. I'm sure once the Ravens beat the Patriots, I'm going to hear how Brady played with broken ribs. As far as JH comments earlier...Bengals should have a better back-up. That simple!

  6. The best part of the game was Saban getting ear holed by a Gatorade Jug


  7. UT still would have lost. The kid made a few mistakes, but also made a couple of nice TD throws. You can't blame him for the interception TD at the half. The receiver bobbled the ball. It was a bad call to begin with.

    If McCoy had been hurt on a late hit or an unnecessarily rough tackle, I could see the griping. The hit on him was nothing. Matt Stafford would have gone out and finished the game.

    Mack Brown had his team ready for the game. The way they did kickoffs was brilliant.

  8. I agree with Rudy. Both of those dudes are probably running laps as we speak -- the day after winning the National Championship.

  9. As a good friend of "Stosh" (although we know him as "Stash"), I have to say you should see him on the ice. This guy is so smooth under pressure that he takes time to complain to our bench when he notices that one of the other teams in our league has a banner on the wall of the rink. And he manages to do this while he is on the ice, and the puck is in play!!! Smooth indeed!!!

  10. You mean when Siragusa DOVE on Gannon's shoulder, not fell. Siragusa's intent was so obvious that even Stevie Wonder could see it!

  11. Czabe,

    Why did you feel compelled to say Stosh is white?

    You had already said he plays hockey.

  12. I think it's funny that FSR thinks Stephen A. Smith's target audience is awake from 6-9 am. What the hell am I supposed to listen to now? This sucks donkey balls!

  13. As a Ravens Fan, , I like to relive in my minds eye Siragusa climbing the ropes of an imaginary WWE ring and launching from the top rope right onto Gannon...

    Just one of many pleasant memories from that Ravens Superbowl run, that drive our boy Czabe crazy.

    He can't help it, it hurts comparing the Post-Gibbs Skins to the Ravens.