Friday, February 1, 2013
Poll: Super Bowl Party Parasites
This guy sees your elaborate spread of food and thinks: "I'm going to take this entire thing down!"
The guy who rocks back and forth nervously, only to punctuate the room with loud angry expletives at random moments, likely due to heavy prop bets or obscure over/unders.
The Armchair GM
This guy doesn't like a single player on the field for either team, and relishes trying to tell you how only he can spot said player's deficiencies.
The Guy Who Knows Just Enough to Be Dangerous
This guy blurts out half-true things that lead to awkward moments where you think about helping to correct him, only to give up because it would be pointless. Example: "I love how the Harbaugh brothers are twins. I think that's so cool."
The Seat Hogger
This guy takes his place in the perfect "A" position at least 1 hour before kickoff, and NEVER moves, fearing any periphery movement as a possible sneak assault on his couch spot.
The Careless Dad
This guy has two kids with him that run roughshod through the host's house, without any corrective parenting from pops. A guy who is likely a combination of all of the above.