Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Manti T'eo: Grab a Snickers, Everyone

Okay, a few thoughts. And my head is pretty melted right now, like everyone else.

1. Holy SHIT!

2. Bwhahahahahahahahaaaahahahah!

3. Okay, look. Seriously. Please God, NOBODY do anything stupid right now. This is a major shitstorm, but it too shall pass. No crimes have been committed. We *think*. Someday, we will all laugh our asses off about it. Please, please, please, God, nobody involved here succumb to the white hot spotlight of modern media controversy, and decide it's too much to handle. We're one gunshot from a horrible, horrible angle to all of this.

4. If T'eo has other "secrets" then let's give him space to sort them out, and decide what he wants to reveal and how. He has no need, no obligation right now, to do anything other than stand behind his statement, as bullshit as it may seem. Until the NFL combine, or even the draft, he only has an obligation to whatever team might be stupid enough willing to draft him, to come clean with the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

5. The modern media (sports included, obviously) is a pathetic, contemptible, lazy, corrupt lot. To the core. Not a single one of them decided to get a hold of this magical woman. Not for a single quote. Not a single photo. No family members. Nothing. For several YEARS! These are not reporters, they are repeaters. Good at repeating whatever they saw on the Twitter feed, whatever somebody else wrote, or just whatever. Repeat, repeat, repeat. This is the 9/11 of sports journalism. Complete catastrophe. This was NOT some obscure linebacker at BYU!

6. Deadspin should win a Pulitzer for investigative journalism.

7. Notre Dame will never live this down. Ever.

8. The art of snarky signmaking on ESPN's College Gameday is about to go a whole new level.

9. Tom Rinaldi should still, AB-SO-LUTELY do a tear-jerking, piano-keys-tinkling, soft-focus-sob-story about Lennay Kukua anyway. It's what she would have wanted. You know... if she, uh, existed. I've even got the opening line.... "Lennay Kukua was the perfect girlfriend...."

10. Gonna be a long, long, long ass time before we see a sports story more fucked up from A-Z than this one. Hoo, boy.


  1. 11. Apparently they don't have 'Skype' in Indiana?

  2. The real victims in all of this? Consonants.

  3. Brent Musburger said Lennay Kukua is "really smoking."

  4. She used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois

  5. The fact that Notre Dame is more concerned about the death of a fake girl rather than the death of a real one who may have suffered at the hands of players on the team tells you all you need to know about that institution.

    Boom. Roasted.

  6. So the guy is a big phoney.....ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Can't say I care much and not sure why anyone does.

  7. John W - you rock! (As I look at the corner of my office dry-erase board.)

  8. I think you nailed it Czabe. (And that is hard for me to say since I so rarely agree with you)

    My husband brought up the Davies situation with BYU a couple years back and how that is really how ND should have handled this situation. They should have gotten in front of it being the upstanding institution of higher learning that claim to be. Especially in the light of PSU, I think ND deserves a lot of the blame when this ship goes down too. Have we not yet learned that football is not above everything?

  9. Cecil/Cam Newton, JoePa and Lance don't see what the big fuss is all about.

  10. I think there is a very plausible explanation for this hoax. My theory is that Manti Te’o is gay – not that there’s anything wrong with that – and wants to keep it a secret. A fake girlfriend is the perfect way to keep the college groupies at bay. Think about it, most college football athletes have no trouble finding girlfriends, let alone a high profile player and potential NFL prospect. No one is coming forward to say they’ve dated him over his collegiate career - you mean to tell me he’s been in a relationship with Lanay since 2009 (3+ years) and hasn’t dated or been with anyone else? The fake girlfriend was not to garner publicity for winning the Heisman, but a way to prevent unwanted advances from the student body at large. He may have seen this as proactive damage control if he felt that being openly gay was a liability for moving ahead in his career, a barrier to winning the Heisman, or a distraction for the team.

  11. ESPN and NBC(Notre Dame and Obama Network) should be laughed at for the fraud they helped along the way.

    Lastly, stop with human interest stories on athletes in college or pro. I do not care if they grew up poor(Yeah we was broke, so what?)or without a father or siblings from their mothers other baby's daddies. Just play the game.

    Remember its supposed to be an escape!

  12. Classic case of he said she's dead.

  13. What I get out of this is yet another self-absorbed punk-ass athlete who has been coddled, pampered and otherwise waited on his entire football life. They think their stuff don't stink and eventually fall. See Lance's recent fall from grace. Whatever. What will be interesting is how he handles the controversy going forward as an NFL hopeful. I hope he's hammered with questions for the duration of his career. Maybe the up and coming punks will take heed and not be so gd inwardly focused. Wishful thinking I guess. Our overall culture is weak and the young people think it's a-ok to lie, cheat and steal.