Friday, January 25, 2013

"So, That Went Well. Right. Right?"

Um, no Manti.

It did not.

Unless you are running for "Dope of the Century."

If you do not want to be accused of STILL lying about all this, then you are asking us to believe you are a rather callous, dopey, yet Academic All-American at an elite University. That you are someone who is OF the internet generation but apparently more tech-illiterate than the average grandmother.

Like you just stepped off your outrigger canoe and took off your grass skirt to play football.

Come on, brah.

Now on the matter of the "impersonated female voice" that Roniah Tuiasosopo initially executed himself for the entire scam? Well.... not so fast my friend. /pays Lee Corso royalty.

Not only does that voicemail sound like a real chick-chick, you know, like the ones who smell sweet and stuff - but how could any dude pull of actually talking and THINKING like a chick for that long of a period, and for those many hours on the phone without breaking character?

He'd have to be like the epic line by Jack Nicholson in the movie "As Good as It Gets".

Then there's this little ditty for your snickering pleasure... from listener David Staples in Charlotte, NC. It's a riff off OutKast and lead singer Andre 3000, who bears a strong likeness to being RG3's long lost brother.


  1. czabe i got to give you props for your new years resolution of giving more time and effort to this site. i''ve been one to call you out for "mailing it in" in the past.
    on a side note i'm 42 yrs. old and would totally get down with katie couric.

  2. Here's what I wish, Czabe: I wish that you and Deadspin and the legions of other self-satisfied dolts who find this story entertaining would--let's say a year from now--have to appear in public with a written transcript of every cock-eyed, envious, and downright stupid thing that you and they have said about this story and, item by item, stand to account for the accuracy of those things. Your collective conduct in inflaming this whole mess is precisely why sociopaths like Tuiasosopo do things like this. Talk about chickenhawks; Y'all have popcorn kernels for testes compared to Manti Te'o.

  3. "Unknown" is proving the point about leftists. Once again, when leftists don't use their usual phrases (racist, homophobe, teabagger, George Bush, conspiracy theory, rightwinger) they ramble incoherently to the point where it is difficult even to understand what they are talking about.

  4. Every time Manti opens his mouth he digs a deeper hole. I think one of my favorite 'czabe' lines applies here about someone digging themselves a hole. "You think he's finally stopped, but he only paused to change drill bits."

    Manti should have released a statement about being duped and then after finding out the truth, perpetuated the lie to cover up the embarrassment of the situation. Then go full Monty Python:
    I apologize. I'm really, really sorry. I apologize unreservedly...